


Despite the Journey

by megmeg654



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-27
Updated: 2018-05-27
Packaged: 2019-05-14 15:22:40
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,612
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14772179
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/megmeg654/pseuds/megmeg654
Summary: The bastard who had electrocuted her was here asking for her presence.“Diyoza is prepared to make a deal. We are ready and willing to negotiate terms. Your doctor is very smart- there's no doubt about that. The problem is that she is a druggie, going through usual shakes and sickness of withdrawal- she is no longer suitable to perform the necessary treatment we need to fix out people. She has mentioned her daughter when talking of someone who could take over for her."Clarke would have to leave, that much was apparent.But she wouldn't say goodbye, to either of them- Madi would know it was important, she would let Clarke go- but if she told Bellamy, it would no doubt be a fight she wasn't ready to have.Post 5x05





	1. Chapter 1

The man came from Eden, one of Eligius- waving a white flag saying he had a message from Diyoza. Octavia was ready to kill him before a word came falling out of his mouth, but fortunately enough for everyone she was convinced by the rest of her council to at least hear him out. 

  Bellamy had been sitting outside with the rest of Spacekru and Wonkru alike, all of them wondering what could be going on in Blooreina’s tent- Bellamy searched for the head of blonde amongst the crowd, yet didn't find her. That's how it had been for the past week or so, after Madi came back with the rest of their people- Clarke had been distant. He had tried to find out the problem, had tried to talk with her about it- but everytime she made up an excuse about Madi, or medical. 

 Bellamy missed her. 

Then Cooper came out of the tent with her staff in hand, “Where is Wanheda?” 

 Clarke? What could they need with her?

A few of the people pointed their fingers towards her rover, and he watched as the woman seek Clarke out. He watched as she hopped out of the car as silently as possible so as not to wake Madi- her sky blue eyes met his own as she passed by, but they left him in a quick, unfamiliar way that hurt him every time it happened.

 “This way, Wanheda.” Clarke grimaced as she said it, but followed her through the tent flap regardless, “Don't call me that.”

  Cooper’s eyebrows pulled together in what could only be mistrust, “Bloodreina has need of your presence. You should do well to be respectful, Clarke Griffin.”

  Her eyes rolled so far into her head, frustrated with the blind submissiveness these people wanted from her- she knew there was an eligius man waiting in their now, and could only wonder what they needed from her now? 

 Did her mother negotiate some deal for Clarke to come back to Eden? Octavia would never let that happen- she had heard the rumors around camp that someone had come by, but she hadn't seen for herself. 

 So when Clarke saw him, she wanted nothing more than to rip his eyes from his skull- McCreary. The bastard who had electrocuted her was here asking for her presence. 

 “Clarke. This man has been asking for you…”

She shook with anger, and before she could stop herself Clarke spit at his feet- which only led him to smirk that disgustingly arrogant smile.

  “Hey sweetheart, good to see you again. So you wanna play?” Clarke moved to rush forward, but Octavia put a hand up and she was stopped by two of her guards before Clarke could make it to the man in front of her. 

  “We need to hear what this man has to say, Clarke. What is your message, soldier?”

The smirk was back, “Diyoza is prepared to make a deal. We are ready and willing to negotiate terms.”

  Clarke knew that couldn't be all, she knew there was more he had to say- “And?”

He looked right at her before glancing back at Octavia and continuing, “Your doctor is very smart- there's no doubt about that. The problem is that she is a druggie, going through usual shakes and sickness of withdrawal- she is no longer suitable to perform the necessary treatment we need to fix out people. She has mentioned her daughter when talking of someone who could take over for her.”

  Octavia laughed, “You mean to take both of our doctors, and let us hope we don't die going back to the valley? I don't think so…”

  “It's up to you- stay here with your doctor, and die from starvation or exposure to the elements. Or let her come to us, and negotiate the terms of your surrender with us. Your choice.” He turned to Clarke with his next sentence, “You have three days to join us in the Valley, I hope to see you there, doc.”

  “I haven't given you permission to leave.” Octavia’s head was held high, no doubt the picture of the bloodreina these people knew.

 “No… But I don't think your gonna stop me either.” McCreary moved to leave the tent, and Octavia's guards looked to her to know whether they should stop him, and she shook them off. It was silent in the tent for a few minutes, all of them including Clarke waiting for Octavia to speak- “You will not settle for anything less than half of the valley- You know the place best, I want you to choose the best side for us. If they do not meet our demands, I do not want you to do anything they ask of you. From your history, I know you can withstand the pain.”

 Clarke wasn't surprised Octavia wouldn't ask her what she wanted, but if the choice was her own- Clarke would have wanted to do it. She needed to go home, “What about Madi? She’ll come with me.”

  “She will stay here, with the rover. Let's call it a guarantee you come back with the terms we need.” Her face was blank, as if what she was saying meant nothing to her- Octavia was different

 Clarke’s voice was ice cold- “Are you threatening me?”

“No. I wouldn't call it that. You leave at dawn.” This wasn't a choice, and Clarke knew it. Not that it made her any less mad- she was furious.

  “You will keep that woman- Gaia, away from my daughter. Her blood is not something to be used. If you threaten her in any way, I will not cooperate with you Octavia.” Clarke hissed at the girl in front of her. Indra put her hand on Cooper’s shoulder, holding her back from rushing at Clarke for disrespecting their Queen. 

  “Fine. I will leave your Madi alone, and keep her safe until your return. You have my word on that.”  She let out a deep breath at that, knowing it would be smart to let Octavia win this battle if it meant keeping Madi safe.

  Clarke was about to leave the tent, when she turned around- “You better keep a tight hold on her- she’s a slippery one, my Madi.”

  Bloodreina nodded as Clarke walked out, she headed to the rover and laid beside her girl. She didn't know when she would see her again, what if the disease these people had was impossible to cure? Would she ever be allowed to leave? 

 Who would take care of her?

Octavia? NO- she prayed that would never happen. 

  A face popped in her head- a constellation of freckles covering a now bearded face. Bellamy would care for her- he wouldn't let anything happen to Madi, she knew that. Clarke couldn't deny that he was a good man and would never let a little girl be left alone. She knew it and yet it still hurt to think- hurt to see him kissing  _ her.  _

 It was on a constant loop in her mind, an image she tried so hard to forget by busying herself with work, and Madi, and anything other than thoughts of him. All it did was make her sad- or mad, or anything in between. 

 It hurt.

That she had spent so long dreaming about being with him when he came home, and thinking she had that dream in her grasp when he came for her- only to have it violently ripped away from her when Echo arrived. 

  So she wouldn't say goodbye, to either of them- Madi would know it was important, She would let Clarke go- but if she told Bellamy, it would no doubt be a fight she wasn't ready to have. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Leave a comment, Kudos, or any criticisms!! <3

Bellamy woke up like it was an ordinary day, when he should have known somewhere in his gut that it was different. Things were quiet around camp- another warning, but still he carried on like all was well. He ate breakfast, he read a book, he walked around camp- that's when he heard it. His sister's voice in her tent- “She is strong willed, we may have had our differences but I have faith she will get the job done.  

She?

Who was Octavia talking abou? 

 Bellamy should have known- but when he heard it, it was no less a shock….

“Wanheda won't come back to us until she has secured our our land- that I know to be true.” He burst through the flap and all guns were trained on him, but he didn't care- Clarke was gone.

 “Tell me you didn't. Tell me it's not true. Tell me you didn't force her to go there by herself.” Octavia looked back at him with no emotion on her face, but a spark in her eyes- “I didn't force her. She chose to go- she’s strong. Wanheda will not fail us.”

 Bellamy could barely believe it- Clarke left? Willingly? And she didn't say goodbye? His heart raced, he was panicking- she was gone. Again.

  “Who went with her? Miller? Which guard?”

He waited with baited breath, “Wanheda does not need a guard. You should have more faith in her after everything she has survived.”

  No- no… He was gonna lose her all over again. With no goodbye, she would be gone for who knows how long. 

  Another six years?

No- Bellamy wouldn't let that happen.

 

  Clarke had been a hunter for the past six years, her hearing had improved for nothing other than need- so she knew something was coming. From behind, it was loud- crashing through the woods like it was running. 

  Clarke raised her gun and was prepared to shoot when she heard it, “Clarke!”

A lump formed in her throat, he was here? He had followed her this whole way?

  “What the hell are you doing, Clarke?” Her anger rose as she turned and kept walking, continuing her journey to her old home- she wouldn't respond. If he wanted to yell at her, he wouldn't get an answer. 

“Answer me! How could you leave? Without a word?” She knew if he kept going, something snarky would no doubt come pouring out of her mouth- revealing her true feelings was not what she wanted to do right now.   

  Bellamy grabbed her arm and forced her to look at him, “Clarke…” 

“What? I'm doing what I always do. What needs to be done.” She could feel the tears forming, and forced them not to fall- Clarke couldn't bear it if they did. 

   “It shouldn't be you…. It's not fair.” 

She could almost laugh at the absurdity of the statement, “When has it ever mattered what's fair? When have either of us ever had that luxury? I need to do this, Bellamy.” 

 And it almost burned her to say- she hadn't said his name in almost a whole week, yet the emotion she felt whenever saying it still swirled in her heart.

  “You’re right, it needs to be done. So we’ll do it- the way we always do…. Together.”

Clarke couldn't hear anymore, so she kept walking- praying he would go back.

 “Together? God, you're stupid!”

He was obviously shocked, it took him almost a full minute to respond and when he did he was angry, “Stupid? I'm stupid? Please explain to me how I'm stupid when you're the one acting like this?” 

 Her feet just kept moving forward, she couldn't look at him- not after all these years. He obviously wouldn't understand, so why even try?

  “Are you mad? Worried? Is it about the valley? Don't worry, we can fix this…”

He still didn't get it, “We?”

 “Yeah, we- you, me, Octavia, Echo, Monty-”

Clarke was almost shaking she was so mad- she had stopped so abruptly Bellamy practically ran straight into her. They were inches apart, “No.”

 “No? What do you mean, no?”

How could he not see? After all this time, “We is you and me. Not you and  _ her. _ ” 

 Bellamy was stunned into silence, only a word spoken softly came next, “What?” 

“I've had my head tilted up at the stars for as long as I can remember these past six years, waiting for you- and this is how you repay me? I think…. I need you to leave.” Her voice was close to breaking, along with what was left of her heart.

  “I….. I- No, I'm not leaving you!” She needed him to understand he couldn't be here, “Listen Bellamy-”

 “No! Clarke, I'm not going!”

She was so close to tears she needed to sit down, so she did on the closest log- “Just shut up, and listen to me for once in the last six goddamn years…. This- what I'm doing right now, is important. For everyone. And I can't have you here, distracting me. I need to focus- and you being here, isn't gonna help me right now. So please- go. Go home and do whatever the hell you want. Go be with Echo- I don't care.”

_ Liar. _

She did care, but she couldn't tell him that.

  “Echo?”

Her head was between her legs, eyes closed- Clarke couldn't look at him, “God, you really are an idiot…. How much clearer can I be?”

  “Clear? You're not saying any full sentences- i'm not a freakin mind reader!” His voice was growing louder, and all it did was make her angrier in turn.

 That's how they had always been- feeding off one another…. A pair, two sides of the same coin- always on the same page. 

 But right now it felt like they were in two seperate books.

And it hurt, “Do I really need to spell it out for you?”

 “Apparently you do!”

Here it is, everything she had the courage to tell him on that radio- but failed to be able to say in person all these days, “Fine! I'm not a kid anymore, and neither are you, Bellamy. So i'm not gonna beat around the bush, I love you. And you loved me, you know that as much as I do. We- is you and me. Us- is me, Madi, and you- the two of you are all that matter to me now. But I need you to leave because I can't look at you-”

  He was stunned into silence, “Because everytime I see your face, all I can think is that you betrayed me. And I know it's irrational, but it's what I feel. I understand- you thought I was dead. But so did I. I had no real way of knowing if you’d made it. I was so afraid none of you had made it. But all I had was hope. All I could do was pray that you were up there. So when I look at you- with her…. I feel like you gave up on me- when I didn't. I waited for you for 2,199 days and you didn't, so please….. Please leave- just don't follow me. Go home. It's not your fault I feel this way- it's just after all these years I kinda thought we were written in the stars, y’know? Fate, maybe? Who knows? But that's done now- and that's…. That's okay. I don't blame you, I just need time…. So please give me that.”

  Clarke was shaky when she stood after so many minutes in silence, but she left- turned her back on the one man she thought would complete her future. She left him and it hurt her as much as the day he left her, but all she could tell herself was this was what destiny must have planned for her- as much as it hurt, this had to be happening for a reason. Right?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was thinkin about doin a third chapter about bellamy getting back to camp and talking to Madi about all the radio calls Clarke made to him up in space? What do you think? Shoot me a comment if you think I should!!


End file.
